Slow Down Website (site & database)

function slow_down_site() {
    sleep(35);
}
add_action('wp', 'slow_down_site');

function slow_down_sitenocache() {
    if (!isset($_GET['nocache'])) {
        wp_redirect(add_query_arg('nocache', time())); // Force reload with new URL
        exit;
    }
    sleep(35);
}
add_action('init', 'slow_down_sitenocache');

function slow_down_site_wpdb() {
    global $wpdb;
    $wpdb->query("SELECT SLEEP(35)"); // MySQL delay
}
add_action('init', 'slow_down_site_wpdb');